Suicide... I've already died, I'm living dead inside
SO whats that point?


So as i set here once again in front of my computer, it seems that this year has just been this exact picture : Me on top of everything, my peak, MY  WORLD, well.... almost, and what happened? What the fuck happened to me? FUCK. I know what happened i fell from the cliff and there is nothing there to catch me. Im afraid ,scared that nothing is there to catch me. I'm good at hiding things. Lately I have been really good at it  and the term "FUCK IT" and doing whatever is in the moment. Most of which i dont' remember. Call me emo, stupid, self centered, call me whatever you want. I dont' care because i know very few people do, if anyone does. I'm past the fact that i had people who use to care about me. I dont' care anymore. I'd almost rather not know if any one does.

I have done forgot who the real me is. He does however seem long gone. So just remember if you talk to me... haha who the fuck am i? Who is "Robbie?" He's gone. I don't even know him. Therefore if i don't know him that means you ( not directed towards anyone person) will have a rough time finding him. haha Wait thats right hes falling one month at a time.

I went to beckley the other day with bobby kyle and buckland. Now buckland isn't the greatest driver. At one point i thought to myself "Fuck man, this year = downhill spiral. For some strange reason i wouldn't have been surprised if we had wrecked and i would have been the only one to die, and yet i wasn't scared or worried it just crossed my mind. lol 

I won't go into details... love... isnt worth my time anymore once i thought it was. I really really thought it was doing those small things to show you care about someone. Helping them out in rough times. I had plenty in return but in what i never thought or imagined, well... i never wanted to think about it cuz of fear it would it would happen and it happened.

I don't know what the hell to say.
I don't know what the fuck to think.
I don't know what the fuck to do.
I don't know what the hell is happening.
I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do.
I am nothing.

Dont' even bother or try it won't work, it won't help.

I have done fell so far down your out of my reach. So guess what that means? I'm out of my own reach.

FUCK IT :(


Sleep, and dream of this
Death angel's kiss
Brings final bliss
Come believe me

Empty they say
Death, won't you let me stay?
Empty they say
Death, hear me call your name?
Oh, call your name!

Suicide, I've already died
You're just the funeral I've been waiting for
Cyanide, living dead inside
Break this empty shell forevermore

Wait, wait patiently
Your death-black wings
Unfolding sleep
Spreading on me

Empty they say
Death, won't you let me stay?
Empty they say
Death, hear me call your name
Oh, call your name!

Suicide, I've already died
You're just the funeral I've been waiting for
Cyanide, living dead inside
Break this empty shell forevermore

Say, is that rain or are they tears?
That stained your concrete face for years
Crying, weeping, shedding strife
Year after year, life after life

A narrow freshly broken ground
A concrete angel laid right down
Upon the grave which swallows fast
It's peace at last
Oh, peace at last


I laugh at that.